i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
