i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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