I molested 6 butterflies tonight
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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