69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
