I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
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