Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
