Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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