I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
