and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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