Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
