i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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