Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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