you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
