Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
