I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize