I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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