STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
