Buhtt sex?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
