3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
