your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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