You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
