If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
