Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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