Your face is a jimmy john
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
