You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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