brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
