He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I did not marry a roomba.
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