remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
