do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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