found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize