oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize