it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
