She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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