i would punch a child for taco bell
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
