My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
