I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
