He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We left the knife in your bed.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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