i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
