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i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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