what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
