either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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