I'm really into asian looking animals
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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