Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
