If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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