I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Vodka?
Forever.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
