Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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