I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I am available for nakedness
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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