Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
