just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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