She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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