You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
