I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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