he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
