He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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