we have officially mastered the walk of shame
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
