you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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