You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
