Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
