So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
