i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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