Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
